Time marches on...

...even if I'm not writing about it. Sure, I have excuses. I've been busy with schoolwork, busy with work work, busy planning my trip. But the real reason I haven't written anything is that I don't feel all that certain about anything right now. For the first time in a long time, I no longer have the illusion that I know how my life is going to turn out. At this point, I genuinely have no idea.

One lesson learned over the past few weeks: dating is not an enjoyable activity, at least most of the time. Either you're stuck out with the least self-aware guy on the planet (who asks you to hold his stuff while he goes to pee in the alley...yes, this really happened) or you're waiting at home for the one you thought you hit it off with to call. It is no longer any wonder to me that people end up settling for less than magical love....this shit is emotionally exhausting!

When my love life gets me down I distract myself by thinking about my upcoming trip. I think about disconnecting from things here for a while. I think about the bliss of not being online, of just driving and seeing something new and thinking whatever I want to think about it without worrying about anyone else's opinion. Too much of my life has been lived in reaction to other people's thoughts or standards or opinions. I am looking forward to knowing how it feels to shed the responsibility of satisfying someone else'e ideals. Maybe that's a tall order, maybe I won't entirely succeed, but at least I'll give it a try.

Plus I'm going to see Graceland. That can't be a bad thing. :)

xo,
C