Living while fat

So I'm planning this trip to Costa Rica, looking at possible activities I can do when I'm there, and I come upon parasailing. Now I've never given parasailing a second thought, but the moment I click on this webpage and see the pictures of people soaring above the beach, I know it is something I really really want to do. Even better, the parasailing company's website says something about 'all shapes and sizes' of people being able to participate in parasailing. Heck yes, I'm psyched! That is, until I read their FAQ a little closer and see that, to them, 'all sizes' means up to 250 pounds.

I know, I'm larger than most and I should be used to being excluded or not considered by now, but it felt like such a dirty trick for them to proclaim how accessible parasailing is when they really only mean it's accessible to non-fat people. It's as if they're saying. "not only can you not participate, we're going to pretend folks your size don't even exist."

That rejection of my very existence really pushed my buttons. In fact, if I hadn't booked my plane ticket already I probably would have decided to skip Costa Rica altogether. That's how much I hate being ignored and marginalized. But that's a whole lot of power to hand over to some employee of a Costa Rican parasailing company. Sure, fat travel has always been a challenge and I will probably encounter numerous occasions where I don't exactly fit and feel awkward and slightly uncomfortable, but that's no reason to not go.

Contestants on The Biggest Loser are always going on and on about how they have 'gotten their life back' by losing weight, and I kind of get what they mean. Spending your life safely on your sofa can be a really compelling idea when the alternative means always being uncomfortable or unsure, encountering messages at every turn that your body is wrong or invalid, or worse, dealing with outright discrimination and vitriol because of your size. So yeah, one way to deal with that is to hide in your house and wait for the day that your body looks like everyone else's. Or you could just choose to live now.

Luckily I've never been very good at waiting.

Costa Rica!

So yes, the secret is out, this summer I am going to Costa Rica!! Dad and I had been talking about doing a Spanish immersion program in Mexico but he wasn't ready to go this summer so I started thinking about going on my own. With all of the Spanish-speaking countries to choose from, Costa Rica was the one that really jumped out at me. So my initial plan was to do Spanish immersion there, but now I think I might skip the Spanish immersion and just go have a lovely vacation.

One of the great things about CR is that a lot of backpackers, surfers and students come through there, so there are hostels in every major city or region. Hostels are nice and cheap, but I also like them because, as a single traveler, it's nice to have other folks around to talk to or share experiences with. One of my goals on this trip is going to be getting to know some new folks, being more open to new experiences, and just cutting lose and having fun without worrying too much about the plan or itinerary. I can't wait!

Going places

This year is shaping up to be epic in ways I never imagined. First of all, the weight loss thing is working and NOT making me crazy, something I never thought would be possible. Then, I finally selected my major, one that I find continuously interesting and should give me a lot of good insights into my future plans, be they real or fiction-based. Finally I will be taking not one, not two, but THREE fantastic trips this year, one to Tacoma to explore glass art with my mom, one to Big Sur to explore writing with The Sun, and one to a secret location to explore...well, secret things. I'll be more explicit when my plans are more solid.

Oh also, I got a cat, one of mine from when I lived with T. She's feisty and grumpy and aggressive and fits in perfectly with me and Rosie.

So yep, pretty fantastic year so far. Stay tuned for updates!

But someday...

You will be happy to know that I have canceled my online dating account again.  I am just not ready.

Family

From a recent trip to the Oregon coast. Every year I spend with these people it becomes more clear how incredibly lucky I am. Love you guys.