Lately I find myself going in so many directions that I feel like I'm hardly doing any of it well. School has been a trial, as usual. Throw moving into the middle of the work/school conglomeration (not to mention NaNoWriMo), and all of a sudden my life is a big quivering pile of demands, obligations and overly critical thoughts. I don't know how I do it all. I don't know why I do it all. It's like at some point I decided that the only way for my life to have value is if I crammed as much experience into it as possible. Also, if I can continue to distract myself by being super-busy, I won't notice that I'm really kind of running in place. When do I stop powering through something because I believe the long-awaited end result will make me happier? When does the plain ol' enjoyment of life happen?
I don't know the answers to these questions. Hopefully someday I will.
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