I went online today to get my timing results for the First Run. I wasn't happy with the numbers and I was all ready to write a gut-twisting entry here lambasting myself for being so slow despite the work I'm doing, when I realized, maybe I should look at the numbers from my last 5k and compare. As it turns out, I beat my last 5k time by a little bit and now my walking mile pace is just under 20 minutes. So I'm glad about that, but a little concerned by how disappointed in myself I was before the time had context. I've held this attitude for what seems like my whole life, that my best effort really isn't good enough, that I need to try harder and harder. It's not healthy, and it causes me to stress out over all sorts of things, from working out to school, to my performance at work. I'm not entirely sure what to do about it.
In other news, my knee is still bothering me, especially in the wake of the First Run, so I decided to take my workout to the pool for a couple of weeks. Luckily Mt. Scott is on the bus line that goes right past my house so I should be able to make that work without too much trouble. I've also been thinking about yoga. The other day I realized that my apartment -- with its abundance of open floor space and natural light -- would be the perfect place to lay out a yoga mat and do some meditative, mind-body connecting things.
I've been contemplating doing a CSA farm share this year. Now that I'm so in love with vegetables (I had the most delicious broccoli as a snack the other day...broccoli!) it might be nice to get some fresh new ones to experiment with every week or so. The farm I'm looking at donates anything you don't want to take home to the Oregon Food Bank, so I wouldn't have to worry about something going to waste because I don't want to eat it. They also do flowers sometimes, which makes me happy :)
xo,
C
3 comments:
Hello - this is a bit random but you see I am a filmmaker/animator and I read a lot of blogs dealing with body image, Health At Every Size, etc. (I frequent kateharding.net and wearetherealdeal if you know them... also the-f-word...)
Anyway I came across your blog as well. I made an animation about body image issues. (You can view it on YouTube, but I'm not sure if you want links in your comments).
And I am now in Portland, to attend a small event where this project will be screened (among several other animated shorts on various topics)
So, I thought I'd comment here and let you know about it, if you or anyone you know wants to attend - it's open to the public, it's part of the International Fest of Cinema and Technology, and it's at the living room theatres, tomorrow (the 17th) The event starts at 11:15 am and my project will be on a bit later, between 12:45 and 2pm
Anyway, just thought I'd let you know, as a Portland person who blogs about similar issues. And you can totally delete this comment if you like. I just posted it because it was the only way I could think to contact you :)
Best of luck with your journey and your blog.
Oh rad! I will see if I can get down there tomorrow to check it out. Thanks for the heads up!!
Thanks!! hope to see you there :) (and i hope you enjoy the other animated shorts too - they all look very cool to me.)
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