Oh, hi there!

Holy crap! It has certainly been a while since I've updated. The culprit, I'm afraid, has been personal drama. I met some dude from the Yahoo Personals thing and at first I didn't write because I didn't want to jinx it, then I didn't write because it wasn't going as well as I had hoped, and finally he dumped me so I guess it's okay to write again. :)

What makes me crazy about the whole situation is that he had some really serious personality issues that I completely ignored because I was so taken in by his pursuit of me, compliments he would give me, and gentlemanly things he would do for me (even though I kind of don't know what to do with someone opening my car door for me...I get the gesture, but it's like...oh..how...quaint). Now that I look back on it, I can see that he really wasn't that nice of a person and we didn't agree on much philosophically. Also, he didn't appreciate my sarcasm. Seriously...not the dude for me. So I'm worried then, about my apparent lack of judgment when it comes to men. I know in the abstract what I'm looking for, but I seem to be giving an awful lot of leeway to some fellas for very little effort on their part.

T says I should give myself a break because I'm new to all of this, and I guess she's right. I was talking to W yesterday and I told him it feels like I have a punch card where I have to collect ten punches and then I get to have a successful relationship. Somehow I find this comforting...I'm not amassing a history of relationship failure, just kissing a bunch of frogs and learning a lot about myself in the process. Though actually this last one didn't even get to the kissing point, which I think is a supreme injustice. If I have to put up with a jerky boy, I should at least get to make out a little.

The other thing about this last fiasco that bugs me is that we had our first date at the Living Room theaters and now that place is a little tainted for me. Perhaps in a few weeks when I'm feeling less dumped I can go reclaim it.

In other news, I had the! best! workout! ever! yesterday. My trainer lives near the Adidas campus so we went over there, ran stairs, jogged a little, did all sorts of stuff. The reason I'm so jazzed about it is that there were several times during the workout where in my head I was like "fuck no, I can't do this shit!" and somehow I still managed to get it done (The fear is a powerful thing...I have to wonder how much it is preventing me from doing). It was awesome to be on the Adidas campus working out though...they've got a fancy soccer field that some folks were playing on (though it appears that maybe they were testing shoes or something in an official capacity...Adidas security gets really twitchy if mere mortals step onto the field) and it felt good to be working out in the presence of other athletes. My face was bright red and I was all sweaty for the better part of an hour afterwards, but I slept like a baby and today I feel energized and ready to kick some ass.

Oh...also? I'm not moving anymore. I'd like to say there is some big logical reason but really I just felt guilty enough about breaking my lease that I decided not to go through with it. Plus I really didn't have the money to execute a big move, so it makes more sense to stay put until my lease is up. Then I can really take some time, save some cash, and figure out where I want to be. Or that's what I tell myself :)

xo,
C