Certain parts of my body are illegal. They are too much, they strain the bounds of common decency, they must offend even the most open-minded onlooker. At least that's what I think when I look at a photo of myself like this one. My gut reaction is to cover up parts like my belly or my chin or my arms. I feel the need to protect the world from having to see these representations of 'not the feminine ideal'.
Do you see how much bullshit that is? What exactly is to be gained by having a belly that is more flat and less round, or having arms that are more solid and less squishy? What is actually wrong with this body? What is the great crime I'm perpetrating by wearing a sweater that defines the smiling curve of my belly? I don't know. When I look at it logically, I can't figure out what I'm castigating myself for. Yet I continue to pick.
I'm not just your average fat person, either. I've been working on fat acceptance (or size acceptance or body diversity or fat positivity or whatever you want to call the movement) for around a dozen years. I have actively worked to eradicate the negative voices in my head, to love my body the way it is and dress it in comfortable, attractive clothing. And still I self-criticize.
Imagine how much self-hatred I would be swimming in if I hadn't made that effort. Imagine the thousands upon thousands of fat people who still believe 100% that their bodies are an abomination, a crime against society. Imagine the self-loathing that accompanies their every step, their every decision. Now imagine an industry whose entire purpose is to exploit that self-loathing, an industry that looks at the body in this picture and says "Yes, you are disgusting. You don't fit in, you should hate yourself. Perhaps you should buy these products and services so you can fix that unappealing body of yours." Only the products and services don't work for 98% of people. Incredibly, instead of the products and services being held accountable for their failure rates, the industry somehow manages to turn it around on their customers. They are at fault for the failure of the products and services they purchased. If only their customers would JUST TRY HARDER and/or BUY MORE PRODUCTS...
This is why I think the diet industry is gross.
Do you see how much bullshit that is? What exactly is to be gained by having a belly that is more flat and less round, or having arms that are more solid and less squishy? What is actually wrong with this body? What is the great crime I'm perpetrating by wearing a sweater that defines the smiling curve of my belly? I don't know. When I look at it logically, I can't figure out what I'm castigating myself for. Yet I continue to pick.
I'm not just your average fat person, either. I've been working on fat acceptance (or size acceptance or body diversity or fat positivity or whatever you want to call the movement) for around a dozen years. I have actively worked to eradicate the negative voices in my head, to love my body the way it is and dress it in comfortable, attractive clothing. And still I self-criticize.
Imagine how much self-hatred I would be swimming in if I hadn't made that effort. Imagine the thousands upon thousands of fat people who still believe 100% that their bodies are an abomination, a crime against society. Imagine the self-loathing that accompanies their every step, their every decision. Now imagine an industry whose entire purpose is to exploit that self-loathing, an industry that looks at the body in this picture and says "Yes, you are disgusting. You don't fit in, you should hate yourself. Perhaps you should buy these products and services so you can fix that unappealing body of yours." Only the products and services don't work for 98% of people. Incredibly, instead of the products and services being held accountable for their failure rates, the industry somehow manages to turn it around on their customers. They are at fault for the failure of the products and services they purchased. If only their customers would JUST TRY HARDER and/or BUY MORE PRODUCTS...
This is why I think the diet industry is gross.
4 comments:
amen
oh and rosie couldn't care less....she loves all of you!!!!!
" I feel the need to protect the world..."
That so hits home. Our bodies are so "offensive" that sometimes our lives start to revolve around "protecting" everyone from our offensive bodies. The calculated moves we make so as not to "offend" people with the space we take up or the lines of our bodies...and also to protect ourselves from the scorn we are convinced lies ahead if we don't make these calculated moves to make our bodies appear more "appropriate", if we don't accommodate the sensibilities of others about our bodies. It becomes so ingrained.
I have been thinking a lot about all this lately, as you probably know. Thanks for writing about it.
"What is actually wrong with this body?"
Absolutely nothing! Just be yourself and love your wonderful self!
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