Some stuff about feelings

I'd like to interrupt your regularly scheduled travelogue with a few paragraphs about my feelings. Brace yourself.

Sigh...I'm sitting in the hostel dining room in Memphis with a gnawing ache in my stomach. I just ate, I've gotten plenty of sleep, and I'm not sick, so what's the deal, you might ask? The deal is, my next destination is Atlanta and I'm totally nervous about going back there. I can't exactly put my finger on why, but I have several theories. For one, I don't really know many folks back there anymore. Theresa and I were pretty private people when we were together and we hardly ever went out or did anything, so my experience of Atlanta pretty much happened entirely in our own house and at my workplace.

But, you know, I'd never seen much of Memphis until I got here, so I can counteract that feeling by visiting Atlanta like a tourist, despite the many years I spent there.

Another thing that might be causing me anxiety about Atlanta is that I grew up there. I was at my most vulnerable in every way in that city. There are landmarks all over the place that bring to mind moments of weakness, hurt, sorrow, and disappointment (and that's just my teen years! ba dum bum!) and I'm not so much looking forward to reliving all of that crap.

But, you know, I'm all old now with experience in life and everything, so I should be able to revisit those places without freaking out, right?

I actually don't have a third thing. I thought I did, I enjoy presenting ideas in threes, but I only have the two ideas. But they both seem manageable, see, so I don't know what I'm all twisted up about. I still am though. That is all.