The journey begins...

I'm at a hostel in San Francisco! I'm only three days into the trip but I've already had some pretty great experiences. Here's how the past three days went:

Of course I stayed up late Saturday, packing and stressing, so Sunday morning I was pretty beat. I finally dragged myself out of bed around 9 and headed for the bus to the car rental place. When I got there, they actually had the nerve to try to rent me a Yaris and say it was a mid-size (the class I had reserved and paid extra for). Oh hell no! They didn't have anything else "mid-size" available but apparently because I'm renting for such a long time, I have the option of swapping the car out one time if I'm not satisfied. Well, I won't lie, I really tried at first to be satisfied with the Yaris. It must be my inborn people-pleasing gene that doesn't want to make a fuss. But I sat in it for a little bit and thought about how far I was going to have to drive this thing and how uncomfortable it would be around mile 6 (much less mile 6000) and I knew I had to swap it out. So I went to the airport where they apparently have the giant car selection. I was completely prepared for them to give me trouble but it was a piece of cake and they swapped it out for a pimpin Corolla. Not only is it a bigger, cushier car, this one had an aux jack in the stereo so I could just plug in my MP3 player. Score!

So anyway, finally I got the car home, loaded up all of my crap (there was a LOT of it, if you can imagine, despite my attempts to minimize my load) and got on my way to my parents' house only about two hours late. A quick lunch and some hugs later, I was on the open road! Woohoo!

I pulled into Honeyman State Park around 6pm, found my site and unpacked the tent. It took me a little while to get over the awkward feeling that everyone around me was staring at me. Of course they were all busy with their own camping business and weren't worried about mine, and finally I was able to just relax and do my thing. There was one other solo camper in the site next to mine. He rode in on a motorcycle (I bet Mom and Dad are excited to hear that!) and instead of a tent was using one of those camping hammock thingies. He seemed friendly enough and kept to himself just like I did. The rest of the campers were families with small children...lots of them. They were not quiet, but I expected that so it wasn't a big deal.

After dinner (made flawlessly on Mom and Dad's camp stove. Thanks guys!) I grabbed my laptop and ducked into the tent to relax. No wireless access, as expected, but I knew I had some episodes of House plus the entire 1995 Pride and Prejudice miniseries on there, so I thought it might be nice to check out for a little while and watch something. It was such a nice feeling, to be totally out of my element but have a little bit of normal in the middle of it. It really made the first night a lot less stressful.

That night I did not sleep well. I don't think my sleeping pad was fully inflated, plus it's hard to adjust to sleeping in a sleeping bag since you can't really toss and turn unless you're planning on taking the whole thing with you. On top of that, I can't use my CPAP at campsites that don't have electrical hookups, so that made it harder to sleep as well. But, you know, it's camping. It's not supposed to feel like a four star hotel. I woke up pretty early in the morning, had some cereal, then got packed up and ready to go.

Day two was a nice drive. I took the 101 down to Redwood National Park (just north of Eureka, CA) and there were an unbelievable number of scenic points and overlooks and viewing sites. I managed to get photos of a couple of them but there came a point where I had to decide between documenting and driving. I felt guilty about it though...here's all this beauty and I'm not even taking pictures of it! But you know, I'd still be on the road right now if I had stopped as much as I wanted.

I got to Redwood NP around 3. My campsite was just gorgeous. Not only was it surrounded by these incredible redwoods, there was a giant one right in the middle of my site with this huge root structure sticking up out of the ground, just begging to be played on. Also the site had these giant prehistoric-looking ferns. I drove around a bit and looked at the other sites and honestly, I think I lucked out with the best one. If you ever go camping there, get site 20.

It was a little chilly out so I bought some firewood and built a fire while I put up the tent and cooked dinner. It took a little while for everything to catch but finally it did and I had a fantastic fire going. I was sitting in a folding camp chair and couldn't seem to get close enough to be warmed by the fire, so finally I gave up and stood right next to the firepit and got toasty. I had brought this Pema Chodron book, one of my favorites that Brian and Margaret gave me at some point last year (thanks guys!), and since I was feeling a bit aimless, disconnected and lost, I figured it might be a good time for some Pema. So I had a fantastic evening of warming myself by the fire, reading Pema Chodron, and cultivating my own fearlessness. Awesome.

The next day (that's this morning!) I headed out pretty early, maybe 6 or 7 am. The first cool thing I saw was a family of elk in the field across from the campsites. There was also an elk with antlers chillin by the 101 on ramp. Clearly they're used to cars and people. Redwood to San Francisco was about a 5 and a half hour drive. Interesting sites on the way included the Avenue of the Giants which was an incredible scenic route. There were also several sites where you could drive through a tree, which sounded so much more exciting than it actually was. Yes, I paid five bucks to see this marvel. I was picturing this enormous too-big-to-be-believed tree that the highway pavers couldn't in good conscience move, so they had to cut through it. I expected a giant roadway through this behemoth tree. In reality, it was just a normal-sized redwood (which is still pretty big) with a space big enough for an SUV to squeak through. It wasn't even on a road. Bah. So if you're ever in the area and you see signs for a Drive Thru tree....don't do it. You will regret it.

The rest of the drive was fairly uneventful. Oh, except for Golden Gate Bridge! I didn't even realize when I was planning my route that it would take me right over the bridge but it did. Luckily I had noticed this on the map about halfway there because Golden Gate is a toll bridge and I had to get some more cash to pay for the toll ($6!). Anyway, going across the bridge was just breathtaking. It is enormous and beautiful and exactly as you would expect. Well worth $6 for that experience.

Finally I found the hostel, got parking squared away, got up to my room, took the most satisfying shower of my entire life, put on some clean clothes and headed out into the neighborhood in search of dinner. It turns out the hostel is in the middle of the Little Saigon neighborhood which is...well, a little shady. The hostel itself is very nice (especially for only $30 a night in San Francisco) but, let's just say I'm not planning on doing much exploring on foot around here. I did have a creepy guy on the street call me beautiful though, so maybe I'm judging too harshly (This happens to me frequently in Portland. I don't know what it is about down-on-their-luck gentlemen everywhere but they've got a definite type and I'm it). For the most part, I just tried to affect my best tough-guy, don't bother me, I'm headed somewhere in particular and I know exactly where it is and also I have a knife look and people left me alone. There are (surprisingly, right?) a whole lot of Vietnamese restaurants around here but I managed to find a couple of decent-looking Thai places. One of them had a picture of Keanu Reeves eating there in the window, so that just made the decision for me. If there's one thing I love about Keanu it's his impeccable taste in Thai food, probably.

So that's where I am now. I'll be staying the whole day tomorrow in San Fran. As of yet I have no idea what I'm going to do with the day. I'm sure when I figure it out I'll tell you guys all about it.

xo,
C

PS: Photos

Carrie, have your say!

If you were to ask me what my worst nightmare personally would be, I'd say it would probably involve being asked to speak intelligently on world affairs in front of a room full of strangers. It's just not my area of expertise, see, and the thought of looking stupid in front of people just horrifies me.

Funny story...earlier this week I was asked to participate in a BBC program called World Have Your Say. I had spoken on the program before, on fat issues, and this week they were broadcasting live in Portland. The producer I spoke to didn't know what the topic was going to be ahead of time, so I went in blind, hoping I would have something to contribute. Well, when I walked into the room it was worst nightmare time: The topic was the upcoming election in Iran. Dun dun dunnnnn!

Before we went on the air, the host went around the room and asked us all what we would like to ask the folks in Iran about the election. My response? "Um...." There were a lot of knowledgeable folks in the room with some great questions and I learned a lot just by listening to the discussions on the program, but yeah, it was pretty humbling to have absolutely no idea what to say about this landmark election that EVERYBODY else had an opinion about.

The upside is, now I've been through my nightmare scenario and totally survived. Honestly, after the initial embarrassment and stupid-feeling, I got to watch these people produce a fascinating radio show and I had a pretty good time. Also, school is over and I get to go on my trip in three days. Maybe I'm an idiot about world affairs, but I'm about to learn a whole lot about the US!

There I am in the middle, NOT contributing to the discussion :)

The next time I talk to you, I'll be on the road! How exciting!!

xo,
C

The singlehood acceptance movement

I'm beginning to think that the process of dating has very, very little to do with falling in love.

I had an epiphany yesterday on the way to the gym that being single in our society is a lot like being fat. The general opinion of singlehood is a negative one, everyone assumes you would rather be coupled, if you're not there's a subtle but very real implication that it's because you're doing something wrong, people get into unhealthy relationships with people they don't really love because of the pressure to not be single, and even if you do manage to enter into a relationship, chances are high that it won't work out and you'll be right back to single again. Anyway, yesterday it was all too clear to me that there are a number of parallels.

This led me to an interesting idea. Obviously I've been frustrated with my singlehood for some time now (you may have noticed the thousand posts on this topic). I began to wonder what would happen if I approached singlehood the way I approach fat. For instance, I could do the following single-positive things:

• Remind myself that families come in all shapes and sizes and mine is perfectly okay the way it is
• Practice 'intuitive living' by figuring out, at any given moment, what I really want to do instead of what I 'should' be doing (attempting in some way to attract a partner)
• Combat singlehood shaming by appearing out in public by myself (at restaurants, movies, etc) and having a good time
• Dress and adorn myself in a way that is comfortable and appeals to me as opposed to dressing to attract admirers (hence the blue hair :)
• Refuse to participate in single-bashing or relationship coveting
• Notice when the popular media portray singlehood as something negative or to be avoided
• Make a list of the benefits of singlehood and refer back to it when in a slump (done and done)
• Encourage my other single friends to recognize the good things about their singleness

Does it sound ridiculous? Maybe. But maybe fat acceptance sounded ridiculous back in the day. Maybe gay equality or feminism sounded like silly things when they were first conceived. The fact is, like losing weight and keeping it off, it is next to impossible to control if or when you fall in love. It seems beneficial, then, to stop worrying about being coupled so much, right?. The way I see it, my body is just fine, my life is just fine, and I've got far healthier, more important things to do with both of them than worry.

xo,
C