In the dark

It's 5:30 AM and my roommate is out of town so everything in the house is peacefully silent. I normally sleep until around 6 but for some reason I just snapped out of sleep about fifteen minutes ago and I haven't been able to go back.

I had dinner with Theresa last night at Screen Door, a southern-themed restaurant. We ended up going there because yesterday morning I had texted her saying I had a huge craving for Folks, a restaurant chain that's only located in the south. I hate to say it, but Screen Door was so superior to Folks in (almost) every way (they don't have peach muffins ;) that I don't so much miss Folks anymore. We both had the Screen Door Plate, in which you get three sides and a slice of cornbread. They have their standard menu of sides but then they have this fantastic menu of in-season sides that you can choose from. There were so many things we both wanted to try that we ended up picking six sides together and splitting almost everything. We got macaroni and cheese (naturally), sweet corn pudding, sweet potato fries, catfish, black eyed peas and rice (that one was all Theresa), and this incredible eggplant and goat cheese terrine on fresh sliced heirloom tomatoes. I can't even tell you how good that one was...fantastic! It was a huge amount of food and we ended up both completely satisfied and T had a big box of leftovers to bring to her mom.

Neither one of us had any place to rush off to, which is not usually the case, so we lingered for a while and enjoyed the free refills of sweet tea while we caught up a little bit with what was going on in each other's lives. We'd been having some trouble lately finding the connection that made us so close in the first place, so it was so incredibly nice to get a chance to just sit and talk with her. Eventually the waitress came around with dessert menus and we both ordered something. I had ban-offee pie, which is bananas and caramel in a pecan shortbread crust topped with whipped cream. It was out of this world. I cannot even express to you. It's been a long time since I've ordered and finished any dessert anywhere, as they are usually disappointing, but I ate every last bite and was tempted to pick up my plate and lick it when I was done. She got the pecan pie which was delicious and she seemed to enjoy it, but I was so in love with my ban-offee pie that I barely noticed.

The other big thing that happened yesterday is I took Tater to a dog trainer. Let me back up. I'm moving again. I'll give you a sec for that to sink in. Okay. I'm moving for a couple of reasons. There's still a weird uncomfortable unease in the air between me and my roommate, plus I'm finally emerging from my drawn out post-breakup depression and I could use a change of scenery. Also I can't have pets in my current place and I really miss having a dog.

So I found another roommate situation nearby that looks like it will work out better (closer to my age, we share some interests, etc), plus it's less expensive, plus she's cool with me bringing a dog. Theresa and I discussed it and we decided that Tater would be the best one for me to take because Chutney was always Theresa's dog and Rosie doesn't like being an only dog (we're assuming...she tends to whimper around the house when one of the other dogs is at the vet). Plus Tater is smaller and has always seemed to us that she would be an excellent only dog. So anyway, yesterday I met with a dog trainer and learned some good things about how to interact with her to establish myself as the pack leader. She's an awesome dog now, but she's going to be so much more fun once she's trained. I'm terribly excited :)

That's all for now...have lovely days, folks!

xo,
C

Fat girl seeks enlightened boy for fun and activism

Only one more class session left! I turned in my final project yesterday (it turned out very well, if I do say so myself) and Monday we will have critiques and our final exam. The semester has gone by so quickly but I feel like taking the class answered some big questions for me, namely 'would I enjoy being a graphic designer?' and 'am I any good at it?'. I definitely enjoyed the projects, especially the ones nearer the end of the semester that involved actual design decisions. And I feel like I did a pretty good job. I may even pull off an A in the class...woo!

I was clicking around the web last night and, in a moment of weakness, I ended up signing up for Yahoo Personals (What? It's been weeks since I posted about not needing to be with someone...I'm a totally different person now! :D). I filled out my little profile (honestly, how do you distill your essence down to a freaking paragraph?), posted some pictures, went looking for some fellas, etc. I found a guy who looked pretty cool and had a nice profile and so I clicked the little button to send him an email. Except no, Yahoo wants you to pay money before you can actually speak to somebody. They have one of those price scales where if you pay month to month it's more expensive than if you pay for six months up front. But what a tough decision! I mean, if you pay for the six months, that's like admitting that you know you are so freakish that it will take at least that long to find someone remotely compatible with you. Not to mention that the six month thing is like a hundred bucks! You can pay $30 a month instead, but that's such a ripoff. I ended up not paying anything. There's something about paying for services like that that somehow makes me feel more desperate and skeevy than I already did by participating in online dating in the first place.

Not to mention the minefield present when you are a fat girl posting a personal ad. Do I mention the fat? Do I not mention it and risk seeming like I'm ashamed of it and/or trying to hide what I am? Do I talk about fat acceptance or activism? I mean, sure fat is not the only thing to know about me, but I feel pretty strongly about fat acceptance and rights and I kind of only want to deal with people who feel the same way. But I'm thinking as I'm writing that out, and guess it's pretty unrealistic to think that there will be many guys out there who believe what I do about fatness when the majority of the country is convinced that it's repulsive and unhealthy. Hmm...this warrants further thought.

I just had a related idea though...wouldn't it be great if there was a personals website for folks who believe what I do about fat acceptance and fat rights? If that weren't even an issue and you could blow right by it and just start talking about your personality and interests like skinny people do. You wouldn't have to worry about how to bring the fat acceptance thing up or how he was going to look at you or if he would get it or if you would ever hear from him again, because you would already have a basic idea of where you both stood on the issue.

I wonder how hard it is to set up a personals website....

xo!

The gift of solitude

I am having an unexpectedly wonderful weekend. Usually I can't make it through the week without having crammed my weekend full of things I need to take care of or people I need to see but somehow on Friday morning I looked up and realized I had absolutely *nothing* I had to do this weekend. Nothing. No plans to see anybody, no graphic design work that needed to be done. I don't even have laundry that needs doing.

So wow...what does one do with 48 hours of complete unstructuredness? So far I have slept in, straightened up my room a little bit, taken care of some COFRA business, finished a novel, and watched some trashy TV I missed last season. If I have my way, I may not even leave the basement at all this weekend.

For a while I felt a little guilty, like I should be doing something more productive, but then I realized that this is an opportunity for me to enjoy spending time by myself, to explore whatever it is that makes me uncomfortable with solitude. Frankly, I'm really enjoying this time by myself. The past few weeks have been extra stressful and it's not often that I actually have the opportunity to hide under the covers when I feel like I want to. It's nice to not have any demands to meet, even my own.

I hope you are all having peaceful weekends as well.

xo,
C