The singlehood acceptance movement

I'm beginning to think that the process of dating has very, very little to do with falling in love.

I had an epiphany yesterday on the way to the gym that being single in our society is a lot like being fat. The general opinion of singlehood is a negative one, everyone assumes you would rather be coupled, if you're not there's a subtle but very real implication that it's because you're doing something wrong, people get into unhealthy relationships with people they don't really love because of the pressure to not be single, and even if you do manage to enter into a relationship, chances are high that it won't work out and you'll be right back to single again. Anyway, yesterday it was all too clear to me that there are a number of parallels.

This led me to an interesting idea. Obviously I've been frustrated with my singlehood for some time now (you may have noticed the thousand posts on this topic). I began to wonder what would happen if I approached singlehood the way I approach fat. For instance, I could do the following single-positive things:

• Remind myself that families come in all shapes and sizes and mine is perfectly okay the way it is
• Practice 'intuitive living' by figuring out, at any given moment, what I really want to do instead of what I 'should' be doing (attempting in some way to attract a partner)
• Combat singlehood shaming by appearing out in public by myself (at restaurants, movies, etc) and having a good time
• Dress and adorn myself in a way that is comfortable and appeals to me as opposed to dressing to attract admirers (hence the blue hair :)
• Refuse to participate in single-bashing or relationship coveting
• Notice when the popular media portray singlehood as something negative or to be avoided
• Make a list of the benefits of singlehood and refer back to it when in a slump (done and done)
• Encourage my other single friends to recognize the good things about their singleness

Does it sound ridiculous? Maybe. But maybe fat acceptance sounded ridiculous back in the day. Maybe gay equality or feminism sounded like silly things when they were first conceived. The fact is, like losing weight and keeping it off, it is next to impossible to control if or when you fall in love. It seems beneficial, then, to stop worrying about being coupled so much, right?. The way I see it, my body is just fine, my life is just fine, and I've got far healthier, more important things to do with both of them than worry.

xo,
C