It's been about a year and eight months since my bankruptcy was discharged. As you can imagine, following that frustrating and humiliating process I swore to myself that I would never get in that deep again. For a long time I refused to even have a credit card at all. I felt like they were pretty much evil and I didn't need one since I use my debit card for everything. But then the credit card industry reeled me in under the pretense of "rebuilding my credit" and I got a card with a small ($500) limit. I vowed to only use it for groceries or other things I already had money for. I thought I was playing the game, see. I thought I was being "responsible". Then one week I overextended myself and I needed to use the card to buy groceries that I didn't have money for. So I started carrying a balance. At that point, my relationship with my card underwent a subtle shift. All of a sudden I started seeing my available credit as extra money I could spend. After I made a payment I would think about what I would use the available credit for. I wasn't struggling financially at this point at all...I had enough cash in my bank account to take care of my needs without using the card. In most cases I was using the card for retail therapy, buying stuff to make myself feel better.
Believe it or not, all of this was happening without my even registering it. Here's what happened next: I had some extra money left over from my tuition reimbursement and I planned to spend it on fancy things for my new apartment. Initially I was going to buy a big TV and a sofa so I could watch football games and movies and invite people over to do the same, but one day I was looking at my credit card bill and I realized I was over my $750 limit (they raised it a few months in to reward my good spending) so I decided to use the extra cash to pay my card off and then use that available credit to buy stuff. It wasn't until I was standing in the shower last night, thinking about what I wanted to buy, that it occurred to me that that credit wasn't money to spend...I had, in fact, already spent it and was now simply paying it back. It seems like such a simple thing to realize, but it really did take me that long.
That credit card thing is a slippery slope. I'm just glad it finally occurred to me what I was doing before I got myself right back on the path to drowning in personal debt. The sad thing is that now I can't buy my big tv for another few months. I know, poor me. Being an adult is hard.
xo,
C
4 comments:
Sweet post CP! I have a fair amount of contact with personal debt, which is to say, I am drowning in it. Congratulations on your realization!!
that is awesome. I know it sucks to feel like "the money" (credit) is there, and it's within your grasp and blah blah blah. I was in a LOT of debt when I moved here, and if it weren't for my living rent free for 7 months and making very large payemnts, I would not be out of CC debt. I still owe on my car but that's been working out ok - I see it as building my credit since I can't just willy nilly with it. (Well I can drive the car) I will sit on the floor and watch movies on your laptop!
Well what can i say...i can feel what you feel,and it's bad !
I know this story all to well. I went from 500 dollars to 15000 of personal debt in a matter of a couple years. Slippery Slope feels like somewhat of an understatement.
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