Sunday, February 28, 2010

Too many options

Hello, I'm Carrie and angst is my default state. If you've read anything I've written here that should be abundantly clear by now. I'm so good at it I even get angsty about my angst, thinking maybe I should be happier and I'm effing things up by being so dissatisfied all of the time. Well I had a conversation with a friend this morning that, out of nowhere, changed everything. She proposed a theory that explained a lot of what I have been feeling, that I feel anxious because I have too many options. This totally resonated for me. For instance, lately I have been thinking about why I would even want a partner right now and the unromantic answer is that I would like to have that area of my life nailed down and decided. Hot, right? They should put that on a greeting card.

Having so many directions my life could go in is pretty stressful, especially when you figure in the pressure I put on myself to make the 'correct' decisions. I realize I am constantly looking for some sort of outside validation or guidance as to what I should do, be it writing, reading, going to school, traveling, whatever. I hate that. I'm the decider, dammit. But to be the decider I need to actually, you know, decide things and take responsibility for those decisions. Lately I've been feeling a little too 'things are happening to me' instead of 'I am making things happen' and I don't like it. So I think my first big decision is going to be to move my locus of control inward. It feels right.

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