Hey

It has been a busy week but that's not why I haven't written. I'm having one of those weeks where everything I can think of to write about sounds so inane or ridiculous that I don't even want to bother to put text to it. here are some updates anyway:

Last week at work was all about getting the new hires up to speed. Yesterday my company rolled out a new online payment website and some of the virtual high school classes started so things were incredibly busy. I felt good though...I'm the lead for the team that was handling the majority of these issues and my newbies (and the non-newbies) all stepped up and did a great job handling the extra call volume. There were definitely some unexpected issues, but everyone rolled with it and we provided some great support. I know I'm a cheeseball because I care so much about that stuff, but getting it right is really the only thing that makes this job worth it.

I've hung out with a friend of Christina's from the dance party a few times and yesterday when I was thinking about him I realized that I have no idea how to get to know people anymore. It happened with J1 and now with J2 I am finding that I have no idea how to just chill out and be myself. I think part of the problem is that I don't really have a clearly defined identity right now since so much of my life is in flux. I think the other part is that there are parts of my personality that I don't exactly like and that I instinctively attempt to keep hidden. Why do people do that? It seems so illogical because eventually that person is going to see me for who I am and like it or not, so what's the point of pretending to be non-neurotic and together when on the inside I'm a flipping mess? Oh right...so I don't scare the people. Maybe I just need to find some braver folks to get to know...

School is going pretty well. I got an A on my midterm, so that was pretty awesome. I turned in the ad project yesterday and now we are going to start a project designing a logo. I'm feeling pretty good about this one, plus it's the last project of the class so I'm looking forward to being done.

I have my first session tonight with the new personal trainer. I'm feeling a fair amount of anxiety but I have to keep my eyes on the prize: running a marathon. It is absolutely something I want to do someday and it is going to take a lot of work to get there and I've got to find some way to be anxious about it and still do it anyway. I'll keep you posted.

That's all for now.

xo

update: I have honestly never felt better in my life than I do at this moment. I had such a great workout! This must be what it feels like to enjoy exercise... yay!