I'm talking about a revolution!

Okay, the second run is the hardest, but I still got out there and did it so I'm proud of that. Yesterday when I got home, it was super windy and rainy outside, plus we had to leave soon to go to my parents' house for my aunt's birthday, PLUS we still had to stop and buy her a birthday present, so I had plenty of good, juicy excuses to not go out walk/running. The one stroke of genius, my saving grace, was that I had asked T to put a harness and a leash on our dog Chutney and she just looked so excited about the prospect of going for a walk that I couldn't dream of denying her. It was fun walking with the dog, but the funny part is that she doesn't like to stop jogging so when I come to the end of my short jogging interval, she's still raring to go! She was also super-interested in everyone in the park and tended to try to pull me over to people, but luckily there weren't that many people out because of the weather so it wasn't that big of a deal.

So there are a couple of reasons the second run is the hardest. First, I was still kind of riding the high from Monday and feeling like a big badass, so I was very close to rationalizing that, "hey, I don't have to do another one right away...I can just wait a few more days and then do it again". Secondly, when I finally did get out there and start walking, I realized that in the euphoria after my first walk/run, I had kind of blocked out how much hard work it actually was to do the walking/running. After the first run, the only thing I remembered was that it wasn't as hard as I had expected. During the second run, since I expected it to be not so hard, it felt a million times harder than I expected. The next step in this theory, I think, is that the third run is going to be the hardest to get myself motivated to do since the second was so difficult physically. I'm anticipating this and I'm going to make sure I have everything ready to go when I get home tomorrow so I can just throw on my running clothes and sneakers and get out the door before the negative voices start.

I read an article on runnersworld.com about the perfect running form yesterday, so I tried to really pay attention to how I was holding my body while I jogged. It really does make a difference, and I don't know why I'm so surprised, but I found that if I kept my head up and my pelvis centered and pushed off of the balls of my feet, the actual running felt much easier. I do seem to have an issue with lifting my shoulders when I run which tends to focus a lot of tension in my neck and back, so I tried to keep that to a minimum and just shake it out when I felt my shoulders tensing up. I tried to fit in a few more jogging sections and I managed to do 20 or 30 seconds of jogging on some of them instead of just 15, so there is some definite progress being made.

I ordered a swimsuit and some goggles the other day, so as soon as I get them I will check out the Columbia Park Pool on my non-running days. I think swimming will be a great cross-training activity, especially since I'm carrying a lot more weight than your average runner and it will be good to take the pressure off of my joints. The big challenge with swimming is emotional, as I am a little nervous about being out in public in a swimsuit, but I think if I can block out that anxiety and just get myself in the pool, I can really get a good, solid workout. It will be exciting to reclaim a physical activity I haven't really done since I was a kid. I feel the same way about biking. One of my goals for the future is to get a bike and just go crazy riding around the neighborhood. I could probably even use it for part of my commute, but I'm not sure I want to start toting a bike around town. That's an issue for the future, anyway. I'm not quite ready for biking yet.

The food thing is going really well, actually. The key seems to be to prepare my own food. Not only do I then get to control what's in it and only put in stuff I actually like, but the simple act of thinking about what I would like to prepare and eat helps me tune in and stay conscious of the choices I am making. I can't believe how much I have eaten in my life without even thinking about it. Frequently in the past, the most important thing about what I was going to have for dinner was, "what can I get someone to bring to me?". There's just this whole dynamic of not caring about what goes into my body or how it makes me feel that I am so glad to be rid of. I'm not saying I'm just over here eating alfalfa sprouts or boiled chicken or something. If I am sincerely craving a burger from Wendy's, my ass is going to go get a burger from Wendy's. The point is to really check in and listen to myself, because honestly, more often than not, I really really DON'T want a burger from Wendy's.

I'm also amazed at how little I can actually eat during the day and still feel satisfied. Yesterday all I had for lunch was a mixed green salad with a diced breast of chicken (tossed with a few tbsp of sweet basil dressing), about 10 almonds, and a pear(some of it cut up into the salad..mmm!). I'm not trying to be all "girl on a diet" with this, but it was just a cool feeling to be in touch with what was going on in my stomach. I have to keep reassuring myself in my head that if I want more, I will have more. If I want something non-diety, I will get it for myself.

That's all for now. I had a job interview yesterday, but I'm not sure what will come of it. Watch this space for updates!